Make a New Definition

What do you consider beautiful? Do you even think about it at all? I find that most women grow up in this country swathed in a blanket of messages telling us how to look, selling products promising to make us look better, and always reminding us that we are not enough. Little girls listen intently as their mothers disparate age their reflections in the mirror, or even worse, those of their young daughters. 

I could write an entire diatribe of the various injustices our culture commits, but we all have heard it before. I'd much rather give you hope, inspiration, and light. 

I'm suggesting a solution. Close your eyes. Let your mind be a blank canvas and choose your paintbrush. Now, draw beauty. What does it look like? Touch it. Feel its surface. Put your tongue against the canvas. Taste beauty. Listen. What does it say to you?

This. This is your beautiful.

Forgive and Let Live

I've spent the morning praying about forgiveness. (How else do you think I come up with all my great advice? Anytime I'm wise at all, it's because of I've got a great adviser.) People always say that to forgive someone is really a gift you give yourself. Once done, you free yourself of negativity and broken relationships. I agree that harboring anger and resentment are more harmful to your own life than it could ever be to another. 

However, I actually find it a bit ridiculous that I feel I have the power to decide whether or not to forgive someone. What makes me so much better than they are? It's not like I have led a life free of error. I, too, have made huge mistakes and probably mistreated or hurt others with my actions. Yet, because I am suddenly the harmed party, I qualify to judge them? Hardly! Yes, I realize everyone who knows me thinks this naive or even weak, but I think we are all forgiven the instant we transgress. 

We have so little time on this earth and a purpose so important, please don't waste another moment on holding onto hurt and pain. Open your heart to others. Let them in. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Trust again. Love again and again and again. 

Create Your Rainbow

Have you ever let someone's hurtful comment about you or rude act toward you ruin your day? Even worse, have you stored it up in your own personal archive of negative messages to tell yourself?  We've all felt criticized, bullied, and judged. However, we don't have to give others that amount of power over our lives.

The kind of people who talk about you behind your back are going to do it no matter what, so please don't waste time worrying. Suck it up. They're talking about you. But guess what? Those people are the ones who are secretly hurting the most inside. They're insecure and scared and relying on putting you down to try to feel better about themselves. That never works for them anyway and it usually results in people distancing themselves from the negativiity- leaving them more alone.

A true friend and a person of strong character knows the inherent joy in celebrating others. They take pleasure in lifting others up and shining the spotlight on them. Importantly, they don't allow others to rain on their parade. Even if you are the only one who believes in your plan, be the best cheerleader you've ever had. Let the opinions of others trickle off your umbrella and fall into the gutter where they belong. 

Get Lost

I secretly love to get lost. Let me explain. I have spent most of my life on an organized, meticulous schedule. For years I thrived on planning and consistency- there were to to be no surprises that might thwart my perfect blueprint. 

Yet, as I grew older and spent more time and experiences alone, I realized that I got a slight thrill from exploring uncharted territory. No, this does not apply to camping as I am deathly afraid of the woods; however, there are moments or even days where I have jumped in my car and just driven. And I have found that when I travel to foreign countries, it is only when I get lost on those winding, antique stone roads and must ask a local for directions, that I discover the real magic of the city. 

I encourage you to throw caution to the wind every now and then. You can spend your life planning, but it's okay to give up control once in a while. Get lost. You just may find yourself.

Don't Get Lost

My mother always warned me to never make important decisions out of fear. Don't you hate it when mom is right? I have written before about the dangers of making choices when our brains are in panic mode, but I've yet to address what happens to our deeper sense of self.

We all have some concept of our core. It is based on a set of values we hold true and a character whose integrity you protect. Not only does fear tend to lure us into bending our principles, but it can make you lose sight of the whole person you've worked to become. 

I have had moments, days even, when I feel so disconnected from that woman I know I truly am, I'm terrified I'll never find her. She has strength. She is brilliant and caring and outgoing and a good friend. She would know what do right now. And I look in the mirror for some trace of her, but I see this stranger looking back and I dive deeper into my fear.

That woman has been right here all along. The problem was that I stopped focusing on her, and instead chose to become emersed in my worries until my perspective got so blurred, I could no longer see her.

Don't let that happen to you. Hold on to the person you've worked so hard to become. Don't allow others to tear you apart or let your worries cloud your vision. Fear is temporary. Feel it and move on. And if you should ever find that you've lost your core, ask those who love you to reflect it back so you can clearly see again.

Smile Saturday

Isn't it amazing when you realize that your life matters to someone you may never meet on the other side of this planet? That decisions you make today will impact the kind of life your great, great grandchildren will have years from now? That an act so small as a smile could make someone decide their life is actually worth living?

Your presence in this world, at this very moment, is no coincidence. You may have days where you feel insignificant and unnoticed. There might be times when it seems nothing you do is right. You may even feel powerless, helpless, and alone.

Take heart! Remember that even if you cannot see it clearly right now, you have an incredible purpose here. My life certainly wouldn't be the same without you! Be present in the moment and make wise choices with your life. It matters more than you will ever know.

A Spirit of Awe

Do you remember the last time you were made speechless? You experience that moment where the oxygen seems to have been ripped from your body and your heart stops beating in awe. All sound ceases to exist and all other images and objects are blurred by the majesty of the moment. You are incapable of moving and your mind is cleared of all thoughts. You belong to that moment and it to you.

It is easy to get lost in the monotony of the daily grind. We are focused on checking chores off our to do lists and rarely make time for adventure or the extraordinary. But it's out there, waiting to be discovered. Today, take a moment to find and celebrate a miracle. Once you take the time to really see one, you might be surprised how many abound. Open your heart to possibilities and allow yourself the joy of the moment.