To Be, or Not To Be....

What attracts you to certain people? Most likely, you look for qualities in others that you value. They possess characteristics that inspire you and stir your soul. You admire them. You respect them. They make you think. They make you laugh.

You feel instantly connected and drawn to them, and instinctively gravitate toward their energy. When you meet these individuals, you just know. 

Now look in the mirror. What can you do today that leads you one step closer to reflecting those same traits? I'm not asking you to change who you are so that you become this other person. I am urging you to become the best version of yourself. That is my life's purpose. I want to help you find those unique pieces in others and put them together to build your dream life. It starts with an open mind and open eyes. Look for the best in others and see people's true colors. Together, we will use them to paint your masterpiece.

Wisdom from the Wizard

Let's stop looking at challenges as obstacles in our road to self discovery. Instead, try to see them as opportunities to show you just how strong you really are. 

After all, our deepest fear is of the unknown. Many of us spend sleepless nights worrying about what the future will bring or how we will overcome potential problems. However, the main reason we are so fearful is that we doubt our ability to take on that task. We don't have all the answers right this second. What if we fail? 

Usually, when we finalky do face our fears, we see how small they really were. We also see that we can handle more than we had thought. By taking action, we can take back the power we've given our fear and instead use it when addressing the next challenge. 

Yes, there is a chance you might fail. But you'll live through it. You'll learn from it. You'll readjust. If that's the worst outcome, than what are you so worried about?

Wake Up to Your Life

Are you one of the many people who wake up in the morning thinking, "It wasn't supposed to be like this?" You had a plan. You had goals. There was a vision.

But now, here you are, miles away from even a vague resemblance of that picture. You ask yourself what went wrong, curse the heavens, and decide to give up on the dream of a happy life. Others seem to have known the secret, but perhaps you just weren't meant to have what you had for so long desired.

Well, you're wrong. Firstly, just because others seem to have easily reached their goals by now does not mean they have some magic formula to do so. Furthermore, what makes you think they have reached all their goals? Perhaps they are just as envious of your life as you are of theirs. Secondly, if that dream was so precious to you, you wouldn't be so quick to give it up. If you truly do care enough about it, you will work to eventually make it happen.

There is only so much you can control though. If something is meant to be, it will occur, but perhaps not on your time schedule. Yet, instead of waiting for it, live your life working towards it. Trust that whatever your life looks like now, you are always a work in progress. Enjoy each moment you are given for what it is, and let go of expectations of what it should be. You might just wake up one day and realize that what you do have is better than anything you could have imagined.

Love the One You're With

How do you know you've met "the one?"

You already know and love yourself as a person. They don't complete you, but they compliment you. They inspire and support you to strive for more, and make you grateful for what you have. You feel as safe in their presence as you do with their absence. They see the best and the worst in you. They love you none the same. 

Have HOPE

I am so thankful for my life. Every day, I thank the Lord for the numerous gifts He has given me (of which I am acutely aware I have not earned on my own merit.) I am continually looking for the silver lining, seeing my cup as half full, and generally seeking the positives in each situation. Even during the worst of times, I have understood that there is always someone struggling more than I am. 

Yet, I am no Pollyanna. There are days and times when I, too, find myself feeling neglected and unloved. When, in the midst of my pain, I see no way out, no end in sight, and certainly no light at the end of my tunnel. 

This morning, however, I was reminded that I must be grateful for all that comes my way. I need to be as equally quick to give thanks for my pain as I am for my pleasure. 

Life is never stagnant. From moment to moment, this world is evolving and transforming before us. Just as great experiences must end, so, too, must our battles. However, both shape who we become. Both are essential pieces of our journey. Both are chances to grow and learn.

Instead of wallowing in your distress, acknowledge your feelings in that moment and be mindful of the purpose behind its existence. Remind yourself that it won't last forever and that you are strong enough to get through it. 

Weekend Whimsy

What is holding you back from pursuing greatness? Whether it's your own self-doubts or the judgment of others, you can usually find an excuse to limit your ambitions. 

In fact, there might be a million reasons you will fail at accomplishing your goal. The more lofty it is, the farther it may seem. Others might mock you, shame you, and attempt to crush your aspirations.

Don't pay them a shred of attention. I encourage you to dream impossibly. See through obstacles. Live beyond your years. Reach past the horizon. 

The only bonds that tie tie you down are ones that you allow. Today, let your passion be your guide. Draw a life that is outside the lines with colors that don't yet exist. 

Friday Advice

Why do we spend so much time worrying about the past? Some of us waste our days mired in regret and resentment, with our vision focused firmly behind us rather than ahead. Those people rarely are able to move forward on their path. Therefore, instead of growing and reaching their goals, they become overcome with problems and negativity that they no longer can do anything about anyway.

We can all identify with the need to feel in control. Unfortunately, much of what happens in life is out of our hands. You can plan for a sunny day at the beach, but if rain is looming, there's nothing you can do to stop it. 

That's actually the good news! You aren't responsible for every single thing that happens. You are, however, in charge of how you react to the situation. Once you understand this, you can focus on what really matters and be present in your own life. Value your time here. Spend it wisely. Continue forward on your journey, celebrating each moment you are given.

Who Do You Choose to Be Today?

I

Very few people just happen to fall into greatness. You are not born into this world a winner any more than you are born into it a loser. Instead, you are given a choice.

To truly become someone of substance, integrity, and strength, one must set goals and work hard to accomplish them. You must display unyielding resilience, yet maintain the flexibility necessary to evolve with life's many surprises. You must be dedicated and determined to your journey, yet find ways to be fulfilled and enjoy the process along the way.

And guess what? At any time, if you so choose, you can become someone new. You are who you choose to become. You don't have to allow your circumstances or other people to dictate your identity. You don't even have to be the same person twice! I find that the most interesting people are those who are constantly learning and changing through new experiences. They understand that you must let go of the old to make room for the new. They maintain their values and foundation, and yet are able to continue to be shaped and morphed. 

Whether you have a resolute commitment to the person you want to be or are like myself, a rolling stone, the decision is yours and yours alone. You are at the helm of your ship. Yes, life will probably throw you off course every now and then. But it is up to you to right your course. 

Happy Friday!

This is a real picture taken of this older gentleman who regularly rides through town in a tiny string thong. I happened to run into him several times in person, and after a while, I just got used to seeing him practically nude, riding his Schwinn. In fact, I don't think anyone would even recognize him with clothes on! 

This snapshot makes me smile for various reasons, but I'm sharing it with you now because it represents a true picture of courage.

This man lives life on his own terms. He doesn't change himself to please others, and he is completely unconcerned with what people are going to think about him. He understands that we can't control how others respond to us anyway, so one might as well do what makes them happy. 

This man has enormous integrity and sense of identity. He dares each day to be his authentic self, and because of his consistent commitment to preserving his character, he is accepted and respected. 

What are you afraid of? Let this picture inspire you to have the courage to face those fears and live the life you've always wanted. Yes, it will be scary. You might see that the more you discover who you are, the more readily you will see others' true colors. Some people will embrace you, while others will judge you and disappear. But the reward of living your authentic life is knowing that the people who did stay are there for the real you. Courage is not easy, but it's worth the risk.

Be Brave

There are a lot of reasons to be upset. Turn on the news, and all you hear is about the various problems, violence, and afflictions in the world. It's enough to make anyone want to draw the blinds and go back under the covers in the morning! Truth be told, sometimes it's hard to maintain an optimistic attitude when all around us are people complaint. 

But have you ever run across someone who seems to always have a smile on their face? Even during difficult times, this person seems to find the positive in the situation. Do they somehow just not have the kind of problems you do? Is there life so blessed that they simply have nothing to fret over? What is their secret?!

It's bravery. They don't have things any easier than you do. Yet, in the face of adversity, when it would be easier to admit defeat and let ones hardships define them, these people instead choose to be happy. These are the people who see setbacks as reasons for comebacks. They see challenges to overcome, instead of being overcome by their challenges. They are bravely joyous in the face of despair.

Today, no matter what life throws your way, have the courage to respond with happiness.

My Wish for You

We all have moments where we feel week, overwhelmed, and unprepared. Days when it seems as if nothing we do is working. Nights when we feel unlovable and lonely.

What gets us through those times is a deeper confidence that those feelings don't reflect our character flaws. That  emotions wax and wane. What is constant, though, is one's character and integrity. 

My wish for you is that in those moments of doubt, you always remember your worth. Tap into your inner strength and rest assured in the knowledge that you are special.

Real Success

I have a variety of role models. They range from successful businessmen and women, famous athletes, great parents, inspiring coaches and trailblazers. Each person espouses different traits that I  value and respect. However, they do all share one commonality consistently. They have all had incredible failures.

When we see successful people, it's easy to assume they are one of the few lucky ones who were just destined to win in life. Sure, they may have worked hard, but now they've made it. Guess what? You are only seeing a snapshot of their life path. 

These people have tried and failed numerous times and in great magnitude. The difference is, they learned from those mistakes and built themselves up better the next time. These people know that there is no promise of good fortune, that bad things happen in life, and that they must continue to grow and learn through them. 

It takes drive and perseverance to achieve goals. Those with the most have risked the most. Those with the most always want more. Most importantly, those with the most aren't attached to it. They know that money and fame are just fleeting visitors in our lives. The only things of true value in this life are integrity and relationships. Those, they will never risk.

Your Secret Identity

Real heroes don't have to advertise. Being well known is nothing compared to being well respected. Kind acts are louder than any words. 

To make a difference in this world, you don't have to perform some public, grandiose gesture. People with sincere strength of character are those who do the right thing when no one is looking. They are humble and they are loyal. They know that miracles come in all forms and sizes. They are quick to listen and slow to speak. They sprinkle smiles wherever they go. They provide light for others' paths. They feel blessed to be blessing. 

They are secretly incredible.

Lost and Found

I don't know about you, but I am certainly not where I had planned to be in my life at this point. Decisions were made, I veered off my designated path, and now I  must create my own way through uncharted territory. Some days, I feel scared and lonely and I want to give up. It seems as if I've been walking in circles and my destination is getting farther and farther away. I honestly don't even really know where I'm going to begin with. But I'm trusting my journey anyway.

It's ok if we don't have all the answers right now. Each day is a fresh start to find them. As long as you continue to put one foot in front of the other, you will grow and discover what you really want and who you truly are. You can always change direction. You can always ask for guidance. Don't worry, though. You'll get there.

Make a New Definition

What do you consider beautiful? Do you even think about it at all? I find that most women grow up in this country swathed in a blanket of messages telling us how to look, selling products promising to make us look better, and always reminding us that we are not enough. Little girls listen intently as their mothers disparate age their reflections in the mirror, or even worse, those of their young daughters. 

I could write an entire diatribe of the various injustices our culture commits, but we all have heard it before. I'd much rather give you hope, inspiration, and light. 

I'm suggesting a solution. Close your eyes. Let your mind be a blank canvas and choose your paintbrush. Now, draw beauty. What does it look like? Touch it. Feel its surface. Put your tongue against the canvas. Taste beauty. Listen. What does it say to you?

This. This is your beautiful.

Forgive and Let Live

I've spent the morning praying about forgiveness. (How else do you think I come up with all my great advice? Anytime I'm wise at all, it's because of I've got a great adviser.) People always say that to forgive someone is really a gift you give yourself. Once done, you free yourself of negativity and broken relationships. I agree that harboring anger and resentment are more harmful to your own life than it could ever be to another. 

However, I actually find it a bit ridiculous that I feel I have the power to decide whether or not to forgive someone. What makes me so much better than they are? It's not like I have led a life free of error. I, too, have made huge mistakes and probably mistreated or hurt others with my actions. Yet, because I am suddenly the harmed party, I qualify to judge them? Hardly! Yes, I realize everyone who knows me thinks this naive or even weak, but I think we are all forgiven the instant we transgress. 

We have so little time on this earth and a purpose so important, please don't waste another moment on holding onto hurt and pain. Open your heart to others. Let them in. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Trust again. Love again and again and again.