Create Your Rainbow

Have you ever let someone's hurtful comment about you or rude act toward you ruin your day? Even worse, have you stored it up in your own personal archive of negative messages to tell yourself?  We've all felt criticized, bullied, and judged. However, we don't have to give others that amount of power over our lives.

The kind of people who talk about you behind your back are going to do it no matter what, so please don't waste time worrying. Suck it up. They're talking about you. But guess what? Those people are the ones who are secretly hurting the most inside. They're insecure and scared and relying on putting you down to try to feel better about themselves. That never works for them anyway and it usually results in people distancing themselves from the negativiity- leaving them more alone.

A true friend and a person of strong character knows the inherent joy in celebrating others. They take pleasure in lifting others up and shining the spotlight on them. Importantly, they don't allow others to rain on their parade. Even if you are the only one who believes in your plan, be the best cheerleader you've ever had. Let the opinions of others trickle off your umbrella and fall into the gutter where they belong. 

Get Lost

I secretly love to get lost. Let me explain. I have spent most of my life on an organized, meticulous schedule. For years I thrived on planning and consistency- there were to to be no surprises that might thwart my perfect blueprint. 

Yet, as I grew older and spent more time and experiences alone, I realized that I got a slight thrill from exploring uncharted territory. No, this does not apply to camping as I am deathly afraid of the woods; however, there are moments or even days where I have jumped in my car and just driven. And I have found that when I travel to foreign countries, it is only when I get lost on those winding, antique stone roads and must ask a local for directions, that I discover the real magic of the city. 

I encourage you to throw caution to the wind every now and then. You can spend your life planning, but it's okay to give up control once in a while. Get lost. You just may find yourself.

Don't Get Lost

My mother always warned me to never make important decisions out of fear. Don't you hate it when mom is right? I have written before about the dangers of making choices when our brains are in panic mode, but I've yet to address what happens to our deeper sense of self.

We all have some concept of our core. It is based on a set of values we hold true and a character whose integrity you protect. Not only does fear tend to lure us into bending our principles, but it can make you lose sight of the whole person you've worked to become. 

I have had moments, days even, when I feel so disconnected from that woman I know I truly am, I'm terrified I'll never find her. She has strength. She is brilliant and caring and outgoing and a good friend. She would know what do right now. And I look in the mirror for some trace of her, but I see this stranger looking back and I dive deeper into my fear.

That woman has been right here all along. The problem was that I stopped focusing on her, and instead chose to become emersed in my worries until my perspective got so blurred, I could no longer see her.

Don't let that happen to you. Hold on to the person you've worked so hard to become. Don't allow others to tear you apart or let your worries cloud your vision. Fear is temporary. Feel it and move on. And if you should ever find that you've lost your core, ask those who love you to reflect it back so you can clearly see again.

Smile Saturday

Isn't it amazing when you realize that your life matters to someone you may never meet on the other side of this planet? That decisions you make today will impact the kind of life your great, great grandchildren will have years from now? That an act so small as a smile could make someone decide their life is actually worth living?

Your presence in this world, at this very moment, is no coincidence. You may have days where you feel insignificant and unnoticed. There might be times when it seems nothing you do is right. You may even feel powerless, helpless, and alone.

Take heart! Remember that even if you cannot see it clearly right now, you have an incredible purpose here. My life certainly wouldn't be the same without you! Be present in the moment and make wise choices with your life. It matters more than you will ever know.

A Spirit of Awe

Do you remember the last time you were made speechless? You experience that moment where the oxygen seems to have been ripped from your body and your heart stops beating in awe. All sound ceases to exist and all other images and objects are blurred by the majesty of the moment. You are incapable of moving and your mind is cleared of all thoughts. You belong to that moment and it to you.

It is easy to get lost in the monotony of the daily grind. We are focused on checking chores off our to do lists and rarely make time for adventure or the extraordinary. But it's out there, waiting to be discovered. Today, take a moment to find and celebrate a miracle. Once you take the time to really see one, you might be surprised how many abound. Open your heart to possibilities and allow yourself the joy of the moment.

The Power Within You

I sometimes feel like my goals are beyond my reach. The obstacles seem insurmountable and I don't have all the answers right now. I wonder if I can do this at all.

But when I look back on the challenges I've faced in the past, I realize that I have not only lived through, but thrived in much harder circumstances!

Today, remember that you are stronger than you think. Stop waiting for someone to rescue you ( because that's not going to happen anyway,) and become your own hero. Have faith in your steps and courage in your heart. You just may find that you had the answers all along.

Fear

To succeed greatly, sometimes you must dare greatly. Yes, you are scared. Of course you are! But are you more afraid of failing than of not ever trying? 

I believe that fear is a natural, normal emotion with a very real purpose of protecting us. However, there has got to come a time when your faith trumps your fear. 

If you are ever going to grow, you must start reaching for new limits. Believe enough in the strength of your character to confidently let it be tested. Rely on your faith to guide you through the darkness. Take chances. Defy odds.

We may do all we can to lead a safe, small life, but no matter what we do, we will eventually face hardships. Worrying about them has never stopped them. 

We have only this one precious gift of a life. One chance to experience. One opportunity to change the world. One legacy to leave behind. Make yours a courageous one.

Be Good

It is so important to surround yourself with people who reflect your values. People with integrity, character, sincerity, and purpose. Those whom you can rely on and trust. Who know how to lead and how to follow. People who truly care about and are supportive of you. They reflect who you are and who you want to become. They lift up, yet keep you grounded. 

As hard as it is to admit, we need other people in our lives. We cannot accomplish our highest goals alone, nor should we want to. Furthermore, the decisions we make are influenced by those around us. This is why it is so important to consciously choose the kind of people you allow into your life. They are your team, your family, your foundation. 

But remember that just as important as being amongst good people, is being one yourself. You never know who needs you or who already aspires to be like you. 

Today, think about the people in your life. Just as they matter so much to you, you matter to them. You matter to me. 

Mr Sandman...

When did you stop daydreaming? Was it school Fter a teacher reprimanded you for not seeming to be focused on the lesson? Or when you told your parents you wanted to sail around the world after college and they scoffed at the very thought of it? When, at the age of 32, you were told it's too late to have the life you'd always wanted and that it's time to settle for less? When did it become a waste of time to ponder the possibilities this world holds for us? When did we stop believing in miracles?

If we define the limits of our lives and thus, design the course, then surely we can be creative with the plan! When you decide to author your life, you have the power to make that story brilliant and phenomenal and unlike any other! 

For whatever reason, you will always be met with a doubter. Someone who fearfully creates a small, encapsulated, safe existence for themselves and then jealously judges your own creation and goals. 

Don't let anyone dull your sparkle. Continue to dream, to paint outside the lines, to leap off the path and into the unknown. If you had no limits, where would you go?  

Keep Your Eyes on Your Own Work

Why do we find it so necessary to compare ourselves with other people? There will always be someone out there who has something better, newer, shinier. Furthermore, you have only one glimpse of their life from an outside perspective. All you see is the candy coating. You don't really ever know what a person's life is like, and nor do they yours.

We complain that others are judging us when we are guilty of doing the same. Once we accomplish something, we must measure its worth against someone else and we become robbed of the pride and pleasure in a job well done.

This blog, and indeed the core of my life-coaching practice is to be the best version of YOU. This means that you  accept your own strengths and weaknesses, your situation and limitations, and you define a life of your own that you can be proud of. What does success even mean to you? What are your values? Your dreams? 

Today, I'd like you to devote yourself to... yourself! Everyone is going through their own battles, and you need all the energy you have to win your own. Stay focused and believe in yourself- I know you can do this.

Use Your Pain

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I believe that everything in our lives happens for a reason. Our journeys were already mapped out for us before we ever existed. Each step is important and should be honored.

Just as we cherish fond memories and eagerly make plans for our future, we learn from our past mistakes and face obstacles that define our character and strengthen us. 

People say that we have pain so we can appreciate and recognize happiness. I'm not sure it's that simple. Anxiety and fear can be signs that we are in danger and need to protect ourselves. You may be feeling immense sadness now so that you are able to sympathize with someone else's pain who needs you. Your faith could need to be tested. You might need to see just how strong you really are.

What I'm saying is that, while we all want to feel warm and fuzzy all the time, ignoring pain is not the answer. Instead, notice it, and then make the choice to use it to get to your goals. Today, remember that you are so important that every moment of your journey matters.

Know that what is in store for you will be greater than anything you could have hoped for. Don't take a single moment for granted.

Be Here, Now

My first waking thoughts this morning were, "I have so much to get done today." Followed quickly by admonishing myself for not having already accomplished said lost and more so. 

Sometimes, it seems as if I am consumed with furiously  worrying about the future, while beating myself up for the past. This just results in robbing me of the present moment! 

Now is the time to live my life. I've got to accept the place I'm in as a part of the journey I am on, to forgive myself, to let others in, and to make the most out of the life I've been given. 

Today, please join me in being present in life. Let go of your need to control, of your shame, and your anxiety. You are enough. You here, now.

I Think You Can

There will always be doubts, excuses, and objections. It will take time. It will take sacrifice. It will take everything you've got. But it will be worth it.

Please don't be afraid to dream. Don't limit your goals out of fear. Find your passion and your purpose and make it happen. There may be a million reasons it will never work, but what if...? What if you can have and do more than you ever dreamed possible? 

You Versus You

Your greatest battle begins with every new day. Your enemy is smart, cunning, ruthless, and it knows all of your weaknesses. It's a duel to the end, and you must never give up. Never let your guard down.

Your nemesis? It's you. It is the critical, cruel, doubtful voice whose goal is to make you feel worthless and powerless. It doesn't believe in you and doesn't think you deserve love. It only sees your flaws, then magnifies them. 

If you are ever going to have the life you desire, to follow your dreams, to author your own story- you must overcome that voice. Be your own cheerleader. Become your own hero. It all starts and ends within you.

Sunday Funday

In college, our cafeteria would have an ice cream sundae bar to celebrate each Sunday. It was a silly, simple tradition that I secretly looked forward to all week. 

I was that student who couldn't take enough advanced courses or be in too many clubs. I generally raced from one activity to another, and rarely ( I now regret) devoted any time to nurturing close relationships. I was simply too busy!

But each Sunday, my friends would gather together around the table and catch up over scoops of chocolate chocolate chip or peanut butter madness. I'll never forget those memories.

By creating these small moments of togetherness in our lives now, we can make time for the things and people who matter the most to us. These are the memories you will store in your heart. Take the opportunity this Sunday to connect with someone you love. It doesn't have to be done grandiose gesture to have impact. To the world, you may just be one person. But to that person, you just may be the world.

What Will You Accomplish?

Some people see a blank page as their worst nightmare. How do I start? What if I make a mistake? What if no one likes what I create?

I'm one of those rare beings who gets excited tingles when I see a fresh notebook page and a sharpened pencil, teaming with ideas and promise. 

Does that mean I think it's an easy task? No! But the beauty of a new beginning is that it is entirely up to me what to write, which direction I want to go in, and who I include in this journey. I often change my mind, find errors in my wording, and doubt my decisions. That's part of the process! 

You don't have to have all the answers now. It's ok to be afraid. Now is the time, however, that you must be brave! Jump off that high dive and go for a triple flip! Even if you belly flop, you can be proud of yourself for trying.

Fun Friday Thought

So many of us get wrapped up in the daily grind of work, chores, and appointments. We are so focused on just making it through the week, that by the time the weekend rolls around, we exhaustedly use it to rest or we continue to over schedule our own productivity. In the back of our minds, somewhere between grocery lists and dentist visits, hides secret plans for a dream vacation, where finally, you will take some time to enjoy life again.

Why are you scheduling happiness? And why aren't you making it a priority? If you are authoring your life, choose to be happy now. If your job is miserable or your relationship a broken mess, do something to change the situation! Take charge! You CAN be happy and you DESERVE to be happy.

What fulfills you? What makes you smile? It could be as small as noticing a ladybug landing on your windowsill or as grand as driving to the ocean after work to watch the sun set. 

Stop waiting for life to begin. You're there right now. Write your story. Live your dream.

Bravery

Have you ever thought of happiness as a courageous act? I've been pondering the concept of and the universal search for happiness for a while. It's meaning is as ambiguous and individualized as the word "love," yet generally agreed upon to be a positive state at the very least. 

It seems that, while happiness is accessible to all, only a few people can claim to be truly courageous. One must earn that honor through effort, discipline, and strength of character. What's so courageous about being happy?

Perhaps genuine happiness is harder to attain than we'd assumed. It takes just as much effort to smile as to frown, but it takes tremendous work to maintain happy relationships. Furthermore, when the world seems to thrive in commiserating over problems and failure, it takes resiliency and fortitude to maintain a positive mindset. It means trusting strangers and finding the best in everyone. It's found in second chances and hopeful wishes. It's believing in possibility when there's little probability. 

Each day, we make a conscious decision whether or not to be happy. Choose to be brave. I believe in you.

Take the Lead

I've been about leadership a lot lately. What does it really mean? How do I become a leader? What if no one follows?

Growing up, I used to idolize my role models. They tended to be focused, kind, genuine, goal-oriented, and inspired. They were people whom I trusted to do the right thing in hard situations. Their words matched their actions and their promises were always kept. 

As I've matured, I've since come to recognize that they, too, are human and flawed. They've made mistakes and grown through struggles. I see that they ask for help as much as they offer it. 

I understand that being a true leader is not about being flawless. It's not about how many followers you appear to have, nor is always easy. Leaders are humble, yet confident. They strive to be the best version of themselves, and then to help others do the same. They magnify other people's strengths and support their victories. A leader plays every role on the team at some point. They try to live by example, with integrity and honesty. 

As a leader, I hope to leave this world a better place. If I have touched just one person's  life, I will consider my journey a success.

Change Your Focus

I am the queen of worrying. There are actually times when I realize I've forgotten to breathe because I'm so anxious! One small doubt snowballs into a bigger and bigger dilemma until all I can see are my problems. I've wasted away inordinate amounts of time in which I could have been happy, productive, and positive.

Every moment we spend fixated on obstacles is one less we could have been focusing on solutions. 

You will always find what you're looking for. If you expect only problems, that's what you will find! Instead, search for even the tiniest hint of the good in your day to build upon. Once you look at the situation from another perspective, other possibilities will begin to appear. Remember, you are authoring this story- it's up to you to give it a happy ending.

Monday Message

This is a season of rebirth, life, fresh chances, and growth. You can almost feel the palpable energy of promise of something wonderful in nature's humming. Now is the time to believe in your dreams. Even if no one else does. Remain true to your vision and your passion. If what you seek is not there, create it. Have courage! What you're looking for is just on the other side of fear. I know you're scared and I am too. I'm terrified! But if I don't do this now, I'll never know. If I don't try, I'll have already failed.

Easter Blessing

Have you ever felt like your life is just out of your control? That whatever you try fails? That you've run out of answers and run out of time? That the more you try to handle it all, the more of a mess it becomes? 

Guess what? You're probably right!

Leading a faithful life does not mean we have an easy road to travel. It does not promise that we have riches, nor even health. But what we do have is somewhere to turn to, to lean on, to take away our pain and bless our lives beyond measure. He knows all, sees all, and loves us all despite our flaws and wrongdoings. He is and will always be the answer. All we have to do is pray.

Always Time to Dream

When did you stop daydreaming? Somewhere on that monotonous path to adulthood, in between coffee for breakfast and grumpy bosses' complaints. Between sorority dances and picking up the kids from dance class. When you traded sunglasses for reading glasses and school supplies for office staples.

Why do we allow ourselves to give up on magic as a necessity of growing up? Just because we're a few years older, we somehow believe that we must follow an entirely new set of directions in which our lives are dull, ordinary, and predictable. But who says? Is there some authority out there, ready to chastise us at any infraction? Of course not!

You have the power to create yourself at any age. Don't be afraid to deeply care, to take risks, to act silly! Start daydreaming again and choose to believe in the impossible. Throw out the rule book and write your own story.

Patience is a Virtue...

It seems that no matter what I've achieved, I wish I had done better, gone further, pushed harder. It's hard for me to recognize and appreciate the place I'm in today, when deep down, there exists a fear that I am still not good enough. Honestly, I don't even know who I'm proving myself to most of the time. However, I continue to belittle my accomplishments and shame myself for not having reached all of my intended goals by now.

Setting goals for ourselves is not the problem. But by holding yourself to impossible standards and continually comparing your journey to other's, you are robbing yourself of the gift of the present moment. 

Perhaps the reason we are in this place now is more meaningful than our intended destination ever was. Our lives are not random, nor are they ever a waste. Instead, we are all interwoven into each other's journey through a plan that is greater than our own. What you do and who you are right in this very moment matter. It's time to find the purpose in your present, look forward to the future, and let go of the past.

Building the New

I find myself navigating the boundary between getting back to the "old me" and working on the person I want to become. It is so tempting to think that if I were to just be the person I was growing up, my life would be just as simple and wonderful as it was during my childhood. But the truth is, I will never be that person again (thank goodness though!) and even if that was possible, life has changed and there's nothing I can do to control that. 

We are constantly evolving from one day to the next. Like stones being swept along and chipped away by the current, so too are we shaped by the experiences we face through life. It is therefore not only necessary, but beneficial for us to change as we grow.

It is true that spending time and energy on the past robs us of the pleasure of the present. But it's scary to feel responsible for figuring out and working toward becoming someone new. This is a challenge we will continue to face as we leave the safety of the known and head into the future. 

The good news is that who you are today doesn't have to be the same as tomorrow. Instead of allowing yourself to get anxious over the task, look at it as an opportunity to try new things, to make mistakes, to challenge yourself, to create yourself! You don't have have all the answers now. Take one day at time, and try to enjoy the magic in the process.

Promise Yourself This

What does it mean to live sincerely? It means living with intention. Veracity in your vision. Meaning in your words and truth in your heart. Unselfishly, recklessly spreading kindness.

It means you make decisions based on your values. That you love until it hurts. That you laugh until you cry. 

You speak only your truth and listen only to understand. You kiss deeply and embrace passionately. Those near you know they are loved. Those far from you long to be in your presence. 

Figure out what you value. Then live your life accordingly.